Full Metal Wheelbarrow

Pobbling about in Sainsbogs this afternoon and someone went past, complaining that they'd only come in for bubble & squeak and they didn't have any.

When I was a small Carol, bubble and squeak was a noxious substance concocted from leftover taters and cabbage and fried mercilessly. If you asked for it it in a shop they'd look at you as if you'd declared your intention to annex Scunthorpe....

 I was shopping in Sainsbo's today, as one does, and having a peer at the new Muller yoghurts, and found the following written on the Eton Mess flavour ones "egg-free meringue".

I was somewhat confused by this. I mean I know they make cunning vegetarian substitutes for many meat products, but egg-free meringue? Boggle.

Rob does online surveys from time to time and some of the questions can border on the ludicrous, but he though this one took the virtual cake :-





How exactly do they think people are accessing the survey? Boggle.

Rob does online surveys from time to time and some of the questions can border on the ludicrous, but he though this one took the virtual cake :-





How exactly do they think people are accessing the survey? Boggle.

I have just booked a parcel delivery online and was amused, when printing the label to stick on the parcel to see that under the label itself, it said "Instructions.:- Please attach to parcel."

Just as well they told me that. I might've stapled it to my forehead or baked it in a pie.

Paul Daniels injured in Sooty pizza-throwing accident.

I feel rather sorry for the folk at the Daily Mash, because how can you even start to parody that?

Today we had a leaflet through the door from Eon, saying they'd have to turn of our electrickery on Thursday 10th May in order to work on some trees around the power lines. Fair enough. Bit of a nuisance, but this stuff has to be done sometimes.

Then a couple of hours later we get a second leaflet through the door, also from Eon, saying that they have to turn our electrickery off on Tuesday 5th May to cut down some trees around power lines "which feed your property".

The wording on each leaflet was slightly different and there was a different contact name and number on each one, but it seemed extremely likely that someone had arranged two different dates for the same work to be done....

So I rang the number on the second card and spoke to a nice lady who seemed as puzzled by the whole thing as I was. She later called me back and told me that the electrickery would be going off on the 5th and not the 10th and that if I hadn't called her about it she wouldn't have known they'd given us two different dates. Nice to know the power companies are spending our money wisely, isn't it?

And just to add that touch of surreality to the whole proceedings, as far as we can tell there aren't any aboveground power lines anywhere near our house anyway....

The government of Malawi are apparently about to pass a law against passing wind...

Rob says I mustn't go there for fear of being declared Public Enemy No 1.

Rumours that the Malawian government have ordered a massive quantity of corks are being hotly denied.

Can someone please explain to me, in words of one syllable or fewer, why, when I go to the Post Office, the cheapest rate they can offer me for my parcel that needs to go to Switzerland is £36.99 by Parcel Force World Value or some such nonsense, but when I go online to Parcel@Go, they can do it for £13.99 plus VAT on a service operated by Parcel Force?

I have not the words....

Algerian nationalists deface Belvoir Castle website having mistaken it for Belvoir Fortress in Israel.

I liked the rather plaintive quote from the spokeswoman there :-

“We've nothing to do with the Middle-East," a Belvoir Castle spokeswoman told the Daily Telegraph. "I just help to organise the teddy bears' picnic."